Halloween Werewolf (The Holiday Shifter Mates Book 1) Read online

  The moon in your eyes,

  Is full and bright.

  Warm like the sun,

  You are day and night.

  My every breath,

  The home I seek,

  It’s you, when I look into the sky.

  The light in your eyes,

  Moon-like it may be,

  A mere reflection,

  A trick of the light,

  But more than this,

  The moon in your eyes,

  Is where my heart beats.

  He wouldn’t have called it particularly good or anything, but it was how he best dealt with his hopeless pining over a… boy he would never see again: Mateo Diaz. He sighed that cliché lovesick sigh. It had been four years, and Mateo hadn’t gone anywhere. He was still there in Austin’s heart, the cause of any disruptions in its rhythm because the thought of him got Austin’s heart pitter-pattering like crazy.

  “Mr. Cheshire.”

  Austin’s heart jumped into his throat as he hastily hid the embarrassing poem under student papers and lecture materials. He hadn’t heard the door open. He fixed his glasses again. “Yes, Katey?”

  The blonde flicked her long hair over her shoulder and batted her mascara-accentuated eyelashes at him. He wasn’t clueless. Katey very obviously had a crush on him. Since he didn’t know what to do about it, he simply ignored it and treated her like every other student.

  “Can you help me with the assignment?” she asked. “I don’t know where to begin.”

  “Did you research the history of Halloween like I asked?” he said.

  “Yeah.”

  “You didn’t find anything interesting in there you want to research more and write about? It can be any aspect of Halloween as long as you have credible sources to cite.”

  She puffed out a breath, angling it up with her pink lips and into her bangs, making them flutter. Then she pouted. “I mean, I guess. But what do you want me to write about, Mr. Cheshire?”

  “I want you to write about whatever you find in there that makes you the most passionate. If none of it does, just pick one and do your best.”

  She rolled her eyes. This conversation apparently hadn’t gone the way she wanted it to. “Yeah, all right. Thanks, Mr. Cheshire.” She shouldered her backpack and waltzed out of the room, exaggerating the sway of her hips in a way that had Austin running his hand down his face in exasperation.

  “Rough day?” The shining grin that never seemed to leave Matthew Smith’s face beamed in from the doorway. “May I come in, Teach?”

  “Of course,” Austin said as he stood up from his desk to meet the other man. Then he leaned down slightly to kiss him on the lips; it was a simple peck, close-mouthed, not especially intimate. Austin’s chest squeezed with that weighty sensation of guilt. Matt was his boyfriend… They were using the word now, but he still didn’t feel like his boyfriend. He knew it was his own fault, the fault of his traitorous heart never allowing him to move on from a high-school crush. But it was much more than a crush to Austin. Mateo was his first and only love. four years hadn’t changed that.

  The truth about what Mateo was hadn’t changed that.

  “See! I told you he’s gay, Katey!” shout-whispered a girl’s voice from down the hall. Shoes squeaked, and the hall faded to silence as the last straggling students left the school.

  “I thought it was obvious,” Matt said with a laugh.

  “Yeah, well. It wouldn’t matter either way. She’s my student,” Austin said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose even though they hadn’t fallen. He really needed to stop doing that.

  “We need to do some Halloween dates before it’s all over.”

  “I hate scary stuff.”

  “I know. That’s why we have to do it. Haunted houses, haunted corn mazes, horror movies, it doesn’t matter.”

  “You just want me to squeeze the life out of you,” Austin accused.

  “It makes me feel important. You don’t touch me much otherwise,” Matt said seriously.

  Austin winced. Matt had to know. He had to know Austin wasn’t all in with this like Matt kept trying to show he was, like he was trying to make up for Austin’s often wishy-washy actions and words. Austin knew it was wrong to lead Matt on like this. He knew he shouldn’t have given him the keys to his house like they were preparing to move in together. Why hadn’t Matt given up on him? Maybe Austin secretly hoped he would, but Matt seemed intent on staying until Austin verbally told him it was over. If body language had been enough, he would have given up by now.

  It sucked. Austin liked Matt. He did. He was fantastic. Austin liked that he was a few inches shorter. He liked that he was a bit round and how he fought off genetics by exercising daily and eating healthy. Matt was body positive. He was out to make the most of what he had, to treat it right. The key to love was to first love yourself. That was Matt’s motto, and he had lots of love to give. Austin loved his mentality. And he did find Matt attractive—especially that winning smile. That was what had drawn him in initially, but the sexual attraction he did feel never got him excited enough to want to take the next step… Everything could have been perfect with Matt if Austin had never met Mateo. He was convinced of that.

  “We should go to dinner at least,” Matt amended. “If you don’t want to do anything scary.”

  “Yeah, let’s do that,” Austin said.

  “You good to leave now?”

  “Yes, just need to grab a couple things.”

  “I’ll help.”

  Austin wanted to move on. He really did. There was no point pining over someone who was gone. It was unhealthy. He might have talked to Matt about Mateo—really talked about him instead of mentioning a nameless kid he used to know from time to time—if he hadn’t been worried about where it would lead—and the guilt surrounding their names. Part of the reason Austin was drawn to Matt was just because of his name. It was too similar to Mateo. It was all Mateo.

  I’m the worst, Austin thought.

  The last thing he needed to grab was that poem. No way was he leaving it at school for someone to find and read. He discreetly tucked it away with the student papers so Matt wouldn’t know he was hiding something and left the high school with his… boyfriend.

  Just like inside of the school, the scenery outside was intimately familiar. Autumn colors, oranges and reds, on the falling leaves of trees. The foot of a mountain, the lake, and the forest beyond. Glasglow, Utah was as quiet as ever. It was home, the place Austin had lived his entire life. Nothing changed until the day Austin finally worked up the courage to talk to Mateo, and it was all because of the tragedy Mateo was living through. Austin never knew his parents, but he knew now how painful it was to lose a parent figure. His grandma lived until the day he turned eighteen, like she was holding on to life just long enough to see him grown. Eighteen was the hardest year of his life, even harder than the day Mateo left, when he learned that Mateo wasn’t quite human. But he got through it. He survived, worked hard, made his way through school, and his life was in a good place.

  Matt helped Austin carry a couple boxes out to Austin’s silver Subaru Legacy. Austin didn’t even make it to the trunk before he dropped the box he was carrying on his right foot.

  He yelped and shifted backward. He hopped on his left foot, erasing the weight on his right foot. “Klutz,” he muttered to himself.

  “All right?” Matt asked as he set his box down on the asphalt and supported Austin with an arm around his waist.

  “Yeah, it’s nothing. Thanks.” Austin put pressure back on his right foot, worked it a little to make sure it was fine. He stared at his feet for a moment, righting himself. Then he looked up. Movement caught his eye from across the parking lot. It wasn’t anything abnormal, just a man walking on the sidewalk leading to the lake. Austin would have glanced over him, but the man stopped and locked Austin’s gaze with chocolate-brown eyes that flashed yellow.

  The moon was in those eyes.

  “M-Mateo?” Austin whispered
under a breath, eyes wide. He wondered if he was seeing things. It had been four years, but he’d recognize those eyes anywhere. They had been burned into his memory. Mateo was bigger now. He was wearing a loose gray hoodie. None of his clothes hugged his body, but he couldn’t hide the muscle he was packing underneath. His face was hardened into that permanent scowl of his, the one Austin found adorable.

  “Austin?” Matt tentatively took his hand. “You look like you just saw a ghost. What are you looking at?”

  Mateo broke the lock on their gaze, and his eyes flickered over Matt. Then he turned his back to them and continued walking, heading for the lake, the base of the mountain, the forest. The place two “werewolves” were killed on Halloween five years ago.

  “Austin?” Matt tried again.

  But Austin wasn’t listening. He broke away from Matt’s hand and said a hasty, “I have to go.” Then he ran. He ran across the parking lot just as he lost sight of Mateo in the Red Maples decorating the sides of the path. When Austin reached the path under a minute later, Mateo was nowhere to be seen.

  He wasn’t there.

  Austin frantically turned every which way. He looked through the trees, but there was no Mateo. There were a few people out walking farther ahead or behind on the trail, but none of them had the moon in their eyes.

  Matt jogged up beside Austin and asked, “You okay?” He looked around too, trying to spot what could have possibly worked Austin up into such a tizzy. He had a small frown marring his face, but Austin couldn’t think about that. He couldn’t think about anything but what he saw.

  “I have to go,” Austin said.

  “Seriously, Austin. What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong. I’m not feeling well. I’m going to go home and get to bed early. Haven’t been getting enough sleep. Rain check on dinner?”

  Matt hesitated. “Sure. Okay.”

  The decent thing to do would be to break up with him, Austin chastised himself. But you were just imagining you saw Mateo. Don’t be hasty. Give this another shot. You want to move on, don’t you?

  “See you later?” Austin asked hopefully, guiltily.

  “Yeah, I’ll call you later to see how you’re feeling too,” Matt said.

  “Thank you.” Austin kissed him again, desperately hoping to feel some chemistry, desperately hoping to feel him and see him instead of picturing the boy who left.

  The werewolf.

  He was hopeless. His desperation had escalated to another level because he had seen Mateo today.

  And he wasn’t there.

  CHAPTER THREE

  HE WAS HERE.

  Mateo couldn’t believe it.

  And he was with some guy Mateo didn’t know.

  Mateo didn’t want to stick around and find out who. It was obvious enough. Boyfriend. Hell, but it was actually him: Austin. He wasn’t counting on seeing him again. He wasn’t thinking about the possibility of him still being here. It was none of those things. He just had a feeling. Going back to Glasglow, Utah, being here, made him feel Austin.

  He wanted to really feel Austin.

  They had been a fair distance away from each other, but that hadn’t hindered Mateo’s sight much. The cold still turned Austin’s cheeks a rosy pink. Mateo wanted to touch. He’d feel the cold against Austin’s skin, but then the underlying warmth would register and light up his fingertips like a burning match. Austin was something special. If he wasn’t special to anyone else, he was to Mateo. But Austin wasn’t his, no matter how much he wanted it. Mateo vowed he would do his very best not to jump in without thinking here. He couldn’t promise he’d think much, but he made a decision: He wouldn’t go back to Austin. Austin was a fragile human. Mateo bled shifters, almost killed them. That was simple enough to understand.

  Mateo stopped to feel the rough texture of the bark on a Red Maple. He ran his fingers against the grooves, the cold clinging to it, and took a breath. He closed his eyes and took another breath. Then he noticed the solid ground beneath his feet, the traces of frost, though snow had yet to fall here. When he opened his eyes again, he fixated on the bright red of the tree’s leaves and plucked one, once again focusing on texture. The leaf was also cold and smooth with little raised lines where its veins were located. This was something Mateo’s mother had taught him. If he could get a hold of himself before he flew into a rage, orient himself to the world around him, he could stay calm in most situations.

  But he didn’t want to stay calm. He wanted Austin.

  And now he wanted blood because his senses were turned up a notch. He wanted the blood of the hunters who killed his parents. It would calm him for a time, and he would keep them from hurting anyone he loved again. It was the best he could do. It was using his assets. Gale would have probably refuted that logic, but Mateo didn’t care. He had to do things his own way. Yuri did things his own way. Yuri understood him better than anyone.

  And he was dying.

  There was a storm inside of Mateo. It hadn’t reached its peak. It ebbed and flowed, drawing slowly nearer. Things were setting him off easier, quicker.

  He glanced down the road leading to the lake. He had taken a detour through a subdivision to avoid Austin. He should have been back on his way, but instead of taking him to the lake and forest beyond, his feet walked him through another subdivision. The houses were familiar, the same houses he grew up around. They weren’t huge, but they looked gigantic when compared to the cabins in Eurio, Alaska. Most of them had a single level and foundations made of cement, brick, and rock; there were plenty of rocks south of town, where the deserty nature of Utah really shone through. The houses had different colors and frames but still managed to look like they belonged together. It was easy to pick out his familiar red brick house. He grew up there. His Red Maple still marked the front yard, too. He loved that tree, all of the Red Maples in Glasglow, especially this time of year. This had been his favorite time of year until five years ago.

  They had lived so close to the lake, the forest, the base of the mountain. It was perfect for wolf shifters. They only had to walk a few minutes, and then they could let out their wolves and no one even knew. They stayed off the hiking trail, disappeared high up the mountain and deep into the trees. Life here used to be perfect as far as Mateo was concerned. He never cared that he and his family were the only shifters living here. He didn’t mind humans. He had friends, and he hadn’t been… as out of control.

  Mateo got out of the subdivision and finally made his way to the hiking trail. He followed it for a time and then stepped off near a steep slope. He remembered exactly where his parents had been killed. After that fucking YouTube video spread everywhere before getting taken down a couple days later, he found the place himself. It was bad enough he had to see his parents’ pelts flaunted in the video like trophies, the earth drank in their blood. He almost expected to smell it even now, but the five years since their death had done its job. Their scent was gone. Their pelts were gone, too, sold or kept as trophies. Mateo didn’t know.

  His breathing grew erratic as he slid down the steep slope and dodged trees. Once he touched down on mostly flat ground inside a small clearing dusted in autumn-colored leaves, he buckled. He fell to his knees and pressed the grass and leaves into his palms, burying his nails into the frigid earth. His wolf wanted to come out and rip up the forest or run for miles or slam his body into tree trunks.

  He pressed his forehead to the ground and reoriented himself. Textures, tastes, sounds. He wouldn’t find the self-proclaimed monster hunters if he ran around wildly. They weren’t here anymore. No one knew where they were. They didn’t have proper hunting licenses. They hunted endangered species. Gale listed all of their “petty” crimes for Mateo before. Mateo didn’t care about the details, just what all of it meant. In the end, Gale and this Trinity thing the Loike Clan and the Toran Pack worked with wouldn’t go after these monster hunters themselves because they were wanted by humans. Trinity was spread thin enough. If they could leave certain things to
the humans, they did. They said once the hunters were caught, they would know and step in to deliver proper justice since the humans would only give them jail time for their crimes. But Mateo wasn’t in the habit of leaving things to others.

  Mateo wasn’t dwelling on the past. He went to the library when he first arrived in Glasglow to use the Wi-Fi to look up these monster hunters. He had to navigate around the library’s safety net, which was a pain and wouldn’t have been possible without Lance and all the random things he knew about… well, everything. Luckily, Lance was in Fairbanks and had a good internet connection himself at the time. They found contact information. The hunters put up and took down information all the time. The internet was an unruly place, and they had to be careful, but they made sure they could be contacted. Mateo didn’t know what kind of crazy-ass loopholes they jumped through to stay hidden and accessible at the same time. And it didn’t matter. Mateo would draw them out again this Halloween, but, this time, they would be the hunted. He was going to repay that blood debt in full.

  Mateo didn’t know how long he had been curled up on the ground. His joints ached with tension. He forced himself to move. He staggered onto his feet and braced himself against a tree. He thought of Austin. He thought about the man he was with. Then he punched the tree, bloodying his knuckles and snapping the trunk in half; it was almost as thick as he was. The leaves rattled, and neighboring trees groaned as their companion fell into them, snapping their branches before meeting its final resting place mostly horizontal against the forest floor. Mateo shook out his hand. His knuckles were bleeding. Maybe it should have hurt badly, but it gave him clarity instead. His mind was muddled most of the time. These brief and sudden releases of pent-up energy made it clear.

  He had a job to do, and that didn’t involve ruining Austin’s life.