Halloween Werewolf (The Holiday Shifter Mates Book 1) Page 4

  Mateo chuckled. “Yeah, I got pants. Over there.” He tilted his head to indicate the trees he had previously emerged from. When he didn’t move, Austin’s eyes dipped back down to his bulging cock. The sight made his throat dry. He had the urge to lick his lips. Mateo was so big. Austin forced himself to look away.

  Mateo turned around to get those pants. If he was trying to make Austin ache for him in every way imaginable, he was doing an excellent job. Austin ignored his almost painful arousal. If it wouldn’t have been totally indecent, he might have taken himself in hand right then and there to relieve the pressure. But he wasn’t about to do that right now. He wasn’t that free. Though, admittedly, he had jerked off to Mateo many times in the safety of his own home, but he wasn’t going to do it right here and now in the middle of the forest, not where Mateo could come back any second and see him doing it. Not until whatever was going on got figured out.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  AUSTIN HADN’T THOUGHT THIS through. Well, bringing Mateo home had nothing to do with thinking things through. There was no choice in the matter, but it would have been nice to be able to prepare his house before Mateo walked in. Austin turned on the lights and rushed to his room as soon as they stepped through the front door. He grabbed every scrap of poetry he had and shoved it all into a drawer. It was embarrassing enough he wrote bad poetry. It was far more embarrassing when every poem was about Mateo.

  He was sure he had everything until he found “The Moon In Your Eyes” sitting atop his dresser. He snatched it up in a hurry.

  “What are you doing?”

  Austin’s heart made a jump for his throat, trying to climb up and out to bail on him. When he turned around, Mateo was leaning against the door frame, arms folded.

  “Nothing,” Austin said slowly.

  Mateo pushed off the door frame and glided forward. Gliding was the best way Austin knew how to describe Mateo’s walk. He was graceful in every movement, purposeful too. He was quiet like a predator stalking its prey. Austin shivered and froze in place. His fingers pressed harder into the paper in hand, wrinkling it, threatening to tear through it. His breath caught when Mateo stood in front of him. He hadn’t bothered putting on a shirt, though he did bring one with him, so his chest was bare. He wore only jeans because he had apparently ditched his hiking boots already. He took Austin’s hand and gently pried his fingers off the paper and then claimed it for himself.

  Austin closed his eyes in defeat. He could have tried to steal the poem back. He’d just be clawing his fingers frantically through the air like a deranged cat, though. If Mateo wanted it, he’d get it. In a game of keep away or strength or speed or anything physical, Austin knew Mateo would win. Austin cringed as he watched Mateo’s eyes slowly move over the page like he was taking in each word rather than skimming through it.

  After what felt like an eternity, Mateo asked, “Is this about me?” His eyebrows were raised, his chocolate-brown eyes wide.

  Austin’s voice wouldn’t come, so he replied with a jerky up-to-down nod of his head. His ears and cheeks heated up at the same time, and red blotches marked his face.

  “I’m not the best with words, and I don’t really know what makes good literature or anything, but I think it’s beautiful.” Mateo pressed the poem to his chest, over his heart. “It has feeling.”

  Here he was, this huge “werewolf” Austin was desperately in love with. He looked hard and dangerous with his size and the new tatts. He was shirtless and raised the room’s temperature by a few degrees because he was so hot—literally. And he thought Austin’s poem was beautiful. He said it simply, to the point, but it meant more than pages of eloquent praise ever could. The way he held the poem to his chest like he was cradling Austin’s heart against his own nearly had Austin in tears again.

  “Thanks,” Austin managed to choke out.

  Mateo gave the poem back. Instead of shoving it into a drawer, Austin placed it on his nightstand. He sat on the edge of his bed and patted the space next to him. Mateo took the invitation and sat beside him, close enough their arms touched. Austin was glad he had worn a short-sleeve shirt under his coat. It meant he could feel Mateo’s skin and raised temperature, skin on skin. Austin wasn’t a particularly cold-blooded human being, but Mateo’s blood ran hotter than any human’s as far as he could tell.

  “After you moved away, I didn’t know what to do with myself,” Austin said. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”

  “Did you ever tell anyone about me?” Mateo asked.

  “No. I never will either.”

  “Why? It’d be like a big discovery for humans, right?”

  Austin clasped his hands in between his spread knees and stared down at them. “Sure, but there’s no way I would reveal that at the expense of someone I love. It would hurt you.”

  There was a pause before Mateo spoke again. “I thought I’d never see you again. Definitely never thought you’d remember me if I did.” He placed a hand underneath Austin’s chin and urged him to look up at him. “You’re different.”

  Austin’s eyes traveled the planes of Mateo’s face. Yes, his face was harder, perfect like each piece had been carved meticulously, but the little scowl that hardly ever seemed to leave his face was the same. He looked like a man. He had dense scruff he could grow into a thick beard. “So are you,” Austin said, “but you’re also the same.” He leaned into Mateo’s hand and closed his eyes. Mateo let him for a moment, but then he moved away again.

  “Where do you want me to sleep?” he asked.

  “Wherever you want.” Austin patted his bed.

  “I’m not good at figuring out when people say one thing but mean another, but you aren’t being subtle.”

  “I know.”

  “You used to be shy, quiet.”

  Austin raised his chin slightly. “I’m a high school teacher now. I can’t be shy and quiet anymore.”

  Mateo growled. Like back in the forest, he moved faster than Austin could register. Suddenly, instead of sitting, Austin was lying down on his bed, back pressed firmly into the mattress as Mateo pinned him there. Mateo held himself up just enough so he wasn’t smothering Austin with his much greater body mass, but he did lower his hips to meet Austin’s as he kissed him, meeting him at the perfect angle so his glasses didn’t get in the way too much. It felt like they were continuing where they stopped in the forest. Mateo’s scruff bit at Austin’s skin. Mateo rolled his hips against Austin’s and swallowed every moan he conjured from him. Mateo was already so hard. Austin couldn’t help wondering what this would feel like if they hadn’t both been wearing jeans.

  “Prove it,” Mateo said.

  He went for Austin’s glasses, but Austin caught his hand. “I want to see you. I’m farsighted. Things up close are really blurry unless I wear my glasses.”

  “Right, okay,” Mateo said easily. He had no trouble working around them, kissing Austin again, deeper this time.

  Austin dug his fingers into Mateo’s sharp shoulder blades. He rolled his hips up to meet Mateo’s and kissed him like he hadn’t kissed anyone in years. He handed over every vulnerability and allowed the pressure inside of him to grow. He couldn’t have stopped it if he wanted to. The tension from what had happened in the forest hadn’t gone away. Mateo got him hot in no time at all. Austin needed a release. He was aching for it.

  Austin moved his hands to Mateo’s hips and traveled underneath him, separating their desperate grinding. He unsnapped the button on his pants, pulled down the zipper. He met burning skin. Mateo wasn’t wearing underwear. Why wasn’t Austin surprised? Mateo’s cock sprang free and Austin ran a hand down his shaft to the tip dripping with precum.

  Mateo growled louder. “You can’t take out my dick if you haven’t even taken off your shirt yet.”

  “Take it off for me.”

  Austin raised his arms and Mateo made quick work of his shirt. When Mateo pressed his chest back down against Austin’s, and his cock pressed hard against Austin’s right inner thigh and
his own cock, Austin didn’t know how much more he could take. The restraint of his pants was too much. Mateo seemed to read his mind. He went for Austin’s pants, unbuttoning, unzipping, and pulling his cock out of his briefs.

  “More,” Austin begged. “Take it all off.”

  Mateo froze. There was a moment where time seemed to stop completely. Then he moved off of Austin. Austin breathed, blinked at the ceiling, and forced himself to sit up. He thought he’d see Mateo shucking off his pants or something, but he didn’t.

  Mateo asked, “Where’s your bathroom?”

  “What?”

  “I need to come. Unless you want my cum all over your floor, tell me where the bathroom is.” Mateo’s teeth were clenched, his eyes flickering yellow again. More than that. His teeth were protruding from his lips, sharper and longer, more wolf-like.

  “Down the hall…,” Austin said since Mateo seemed so intent on going, so intent on finishing alone. “Second door on your right.” His heart squeezed and fractured all at once as he watched Mateo leave without a second glance.

  Mateo pulled away from him again. That was twice in one night after Mateo seemed so sure of this, so ready to go all the way. So, what was Austin doing so terribly wrong?

  Mateo went too far. He wasn’t thinking. He almost fucked Austin in the forest, and he was about to do it again in Austin’s bedroom. His gums ached something fierce, and his vision was fading in and out from super sharp to normal on repeat. He shed his pants on the floor, not giving a damn about the phone in his pocket, and jumped into the shower, blasting himself with warm water. He took himself in hand, thick and heavy, veins bulging. His balls drew up tight. It wouldn’t take much, but he didn’t move. He faced the showerhead and closed his eyes against the pounding water. He thought about Austin. He thought about the sounds he made when Mateo kissed him, touched him. He was a noisy thing, but damn did Mateo love it. He loved him.

  The pressure built. Mateo opened his eyes, breathed heavily, and gave his shaft a good, hard rub. His body seized up, and he shot off round after round of cum into the drain. He watched it disappear along with the water. It should have been a relief. He wouldn’t ache by not finishing, but maybe this ache was worse. He wasn’t thinking when he came back here with Austin. He just did it, like most things. He would have bitten him too, claimed him, if he hadn’t cared so much. Austin brought out the most of his self-control and the most of his impulsive behavior. He didn’t think those two things were supposed to go together, but what the hell did he know?

  Mateo turned the water to cold and stood in the chilling spray for a couple minutes longer. Maybe it’d cool him off enough to get him to stay off of Austin for one night.

  When Mateo left the shower and pulled his pants back on, he returned to Austin’s room. Austin had changed into sweats and a light T-shirt to sleep in, and he looked miserable. His pale and freckled skin was flushed. The careful sweep of his wavy-brown hair was disheveled from Mateo’s onslaught, and he hadn’t bothered to fix it. His eyes were red, the remnant of tears shed. Mateo wanted to kill whoever made him cry, but then he realized it was probably him. This was why he didn’t want to get mixed up with Austin again. He’d hurt him like he did everyone else. He already had. He wanted to apologize, but words meant shit here.

  “What did I do wrong?” Austin asked. His lips quivered as he turned his hazel eyes to Mateo; the green rim of his glasses accentuated the green in his eyes. And his eyes were filling with water. “One minute, it seems like you’re right there with me, feeling everything I do. The next, you completely pull away from me. You disconnect. Is it because I’m human?”

  “No. I want to bite you.”

  “Bite me?”

  Mateo’s vision was still going crazy. His gums still ached. “You know how I have anger issues?”

  “I don’t know if I’d call them anger issues.”

  “Whatever. You know what I mean.”

  “Yeah.”

  “It’s like that. I can’t control it if we go all the way. I want to bite you, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

  Austin cocked his head. “Will biting me turn me into a werewolf too?”

  “No.” Mateo didn’t know how to explain this. He turned around, frustrated. “I’m sleeping on the couch.”

  “I don’t mind. You can bite me.”

  Mateo shook his head and smiled for a reason he couldn’t explain. “I’m not a werewolf. I’m a wolf shifter.”

  “Yeah? Tell me about it. I want to know everything that happened since you left. I want to know everything about you,” Austin said.

  “Don’t you have a class to teach tomorrow? It’s a school day.”

  “That’s why we have coffee.”

  Mateo worked his jaw. He wanted to talk. But he had talked. He didn’t know how to say anything else. There was so much he could say, though. He could talk about Gale. He could talk about how Gale took him to Alaska after that outburst when he blindly pummeled another student, how Gale took him without letting him say goodbye. Gale had been furious. Mateo knew he never wanted to stay in Utah with Mateo in the first place, but he did it, in the beginning, for Mateo because Mateo refused to leave. Mateo didn’t give a good reason for it. He just didn’t want to. And Gale was nice to him. Maybe too nice. He uprooted his son’s life because of Mateo too. Mateo wondered how Ike was doing. The cub had become like a little brother to him. And all at once he felt homesick. He left his family behind in Alaska, but he did it for them. It was for the best. Now he was with Austin again. And he wanted things he couldn’t have. He wanted to keep them all close, to keep them safe.

  He wanted to express how deeply he loved Austin and that he never wanted to make him cry. Not ever. He wanted Lance to know he was the best brother in the world. He wanted Gale to cheer up and give his son the time of day. He wanted Ike to know his dad loved him more than anything. He wanted the power to heal Yuri’s seizures, because they were going to kill him one day. He wanted to apologize to Weston for being a terrible lone wolf who was unable to accept Pack Bonds. He wanted a lot of things. Mostly, he wanted those he loved to be happy and well cared for.

  Austin sighed. “If you can’t talk about it now, I can wait.”

  Mateo didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded his head. Austin got off his bed and went into the hall. He pulled some blankets and an extra pillow from a closet. Mateo followed him into the living room as Austin placed the bedding on the couch.

  “You can help yourself to anything in the house. There’s food in the fridge too,” Austin said.

  “Thanks.”

  “See you in the morning?”

  “Maybe,” Mateo said, and Austin frowned. Mateo pressed his thumb to the corner of Austin’s mouth, wishing he could wipe away that sad expression. “Don’t cry.”

  “I won’t.” Austin took his hand and gently pushed him away.

  “I’m sor—”

  “No sorries. Just give me an explanation when you can, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Goodnight, Mateo.”

  “Night, Austin.”

  Mateo dejectedly watched Austin leave the room and turn off the light, welcoming darkness. There was only a thin sliver of moonlight shining in through mostly closed curtains. He set the pillow Austin gave him on the coffee table near the couch and took the thinnest blanket as he plopped down on the plush white cushions. Luckily, the cushions had a decent firmness to them. He wasn’t into light and fluffy. He rested his head on his arm and closed his eyes. He tried to sleep, but he couldn’t. He ended up opening his eyes again.

  The dark did little to inhibit Mateo’s sight. The walls were mostly white, bluish in this light. Dark brown wood furniture sat uniform all across the room: the entertainment set, the coffee table, the frame of the couch Mateo was lying on. It all looked newly stained too. It was pure gloss, without a scratch or a smudge. Everything was spotless like that. Even the light-colored carpet. There wasn’t a stain or anything. That seemed Austin appropriate.
Any decoration was minimal because he didn’t like clutter. There was a single framed picture on a wall. It was of Austin and his grandmother. Mateo had met her once. She hadn’t been healthy. If she had still been alive, she would have been living here with Austin.

  Austin was alone.

  Mateo had the urge to crawl into bed with Austin, to hold him close because maybe then he’d know he wasn’t alone at all. Maybe that would tell him how much Mateo loved him. Mateo growled low at himself. Austin didn’t want that. He wanted an explanation when Mateo could give it. That was what he said.

  Mateo’s growling got louder. He sealed his lips to stop the sound, but that wild energy of his was building up, and his thoughts were getting fuzzy. Static. His gums ached. His body ached down to his fingers and toes. His wolf was going to rip out of his skin. He needed to bleed something.

  Mateo got off the couch, found his hiking boots, and left the house. He didn’t make a sound. He gritted his teeth, and he didn’t feel the cold as he fought to keep his wolf contained until he made it into the safety of the mountain and its many trees. The lake was a pinprick in his vision, too bright as it reflected a nearly full moon. He stumbled, fighting against his wolf until he found his legs and moved at a speed faster than any human was capable of. When he hit the trees, he discarded his clothing. Then he dropped down to his hands and knees as his bones broke and reformed. His muscles snapped, his flesh burned, and fur sprouted from his skin. He lifted his head, snout to the sky, and pulled his ears back as he let loose a mighty howl. He howled until that breath was spent. He gathered his wits about him long enough to gather his pants and boots in his mouth to drag them away to where he stashed the bag Lance gave him. Then he ran.

  There were things he could bleed out here. Rabbits, deer, maybe wild elk, but he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to hunt, and he wasn’t hungry. He wanted someone to fight, but no one here was strong enough to take him one on one. He could never wrestle with Austin because he’d break him. He wasn’t even tempted to. Maybe staying away from other shifters was the best way to control himself, but then where was this energy supposed to go? How would he ever calm down?